Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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