I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
