if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i permit you to call me
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Randomize
