He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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