Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think people are normalizing furries
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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