you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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