Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize