i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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