I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
there is puke in my bra ... again
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