i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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