tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
