i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
