bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize