Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
