She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize