Buhtt sex?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
