THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think people are normalizing furries
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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