Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
