I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
