Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
