where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
