Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
