CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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