ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
