are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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