He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
