Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
