i think my tv is drunk
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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