We're facebook friends in real life
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
