I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
