Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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