Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
