This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
