People with herpes should wear stickers.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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