Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
