I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
