Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
