Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
