he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
