It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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