i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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