and next time when you feel me up, do it right
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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