Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
