First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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