i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
