It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
