When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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