Ketchup is God's man juice
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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