He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize