At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
