I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
