You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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