I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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