I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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