The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
