Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I supernannyed him into submission
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize