Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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