i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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